Life can shatter us.
Consciously or unconsciously we have visions of what our future will look like. This starts in childhood, with dreams of what we’ll be when we grow up. Sometimes these thoughts are not even that definite. Sometimes there’s just this idea lodged in some corner of the psyche that shapes the decisions we make so that life moves in the direction of our dreams.
And move it does until something breaks the picture, shatters the life we’d made for ourselves, and our future then is not as we’d dreamed.
And we grieve the shattered picture. We look at the pieces that lie at our feet, broken. No more do they reflect back to us the long-held dream picture of our life. They show a distortion, a fractured picture.
Not only is the picture of our life shattered but so is the picture we have of ourselves. An eye here, an ear there, a piece of hair. And we wonder what we can do with all the broken pieces.
And no-one knows just how broken you’ve really been, or exactly what has been broken.
There is a temptation to try to put the picture back together again. To make it look like what it once did, before it was broken. But this really is not very effective. Because you can see the cracks and the missing pieces, the bits that are broken beyond repair.
A better option is to let another picture form, one that takes all the shattered pieces and forms them into a completely different picture. A wonderful mirrored mosaic reflecting all of who we are, but oh so very different to the childhood picture. It’s sad to lose the long- held dream and it’s not easy to allow the new picture to be formed out of all the pieces.
But I’m discovering on my own fractured- picture journey that the new picture God is forming in me and for me is both exciting and scary. I’m discovering who I am outside of my own preconceived ideas. I mourn the loss of the old picture and it’s taking time to feel comfortable with the new one. Sometimes I just have to sit with the loss, with all the shattered pieces at my feet, just sit and look at the brokenness.
And then I stand and say ‘yes’ to what God is doing, I allow Him to take the bits of shattered glass at my feet and piece them together into the design He has for my life. It doesn’t look like what I’m used to and some of it is uncomfortable but it is beautiful and it is good and I’m glad.