I remember as a girl of about 12 wondering why I was in my skin, why I was born into my family and not the family across the road. This wasn’t because I didn’t like my family but rather I wondered why I was the person I was and not someone else. 40+ years later I still ask the same question: Why am I who I am?
Watching Matthew Cowdrey win yet another gold medal, did his mum know when he was born with half an arm missing that inside her little baby was a world-class athlete? Kurt Fearnley took on the Kokoda Track with only his arms and hands. He’s been at 3 Paralympics and won heaps of medals and races. Why? Because that’s who he is – an adventurous world-class athlete.
Susan Boyle, a middle-aged woman from a village in Scotland got up on stage and blew the world away with her “I Dreamed a Dream.” Paul Potts sold phones – who knew he had the most amazing operatic voice? Two young women on this year’s X-Factor, one from Darwin and one from Cooma; too young many would say to go flying half-way around the world to pursue their dreams. But both have something inside them that despite their youth pushes them to do things beyond their years.
Why are these people they way they are? Some born with physical limitations, some seemingly too old to “make it” on the world stage, some seem to be too young. No answer: they are just who they are.
A wise man wrote many centuries ago, when looking at his own life:
“You shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvellously made!
I worship in adoration – what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
the days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.”
So that brings me back to me: why am I the person I am? Why do I still have dreams that percolate inside me as a middle-aged woman? Perhaps there’s no answer than to say that’s just the way I am. I was made with these dreams, these desires, these passions and drives. I’ll never be a world-class athlete; I doubt I’ll ever walk the Kokoda Track (let alone on my hands!) and I’m sure I’ll never sing on X-factor! But while ever I’m alive I get the chance to discover more of the unique shape that I am and this blog is part of that. One of the many things in me when I was born is that of writer. So that’s who I am and that’s what I do.